Where I’m At
This is a letter to bring you up to date on where I’m at, where I’ve been and where I’m going.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my past since the new year began. I know God wants to bring closure and healing to some open wounds from my past and I’m seeing a plan take shape to deal with them.
I think part of the healing process will involve writing about my past and bringing the dark things from it into the light. I’ve been considering the possibility of writing an autobiography of sorts – covering the entire span of my career as as paramedic.
Writing (for me) is therapeutic. There’s a freedom that comes from telling my story. Heather Goodman asked me what it is that I like most about story-telling. I realized that my greatest emotional need is to be understood and accepted. So writing stories is how I meet that need. I write, and in the process, my heart is revealed. If you understand and accept me, my emotional need is satisfied.
Of course, if I’m rejected because of my past, I’ll suffer the consequences. That’s the risk you take when you write about your own problems.
Writing about my career will probably begin as a series of Facebook Notes. The audience that reads my notes is supportive and safe. And the stuff I need to share requires a safe audience.
This is not to say that most of my readers here are not supportive or safe – you are. But my Facebook friends are the folks I hang out with every day and they really ‘get me’ on a deeper level. So if the notes go well, I’ll probably publish them here. The long term goal might be to turn them into a book.
Speaking of Facebook – I’ll be taking a short break from Facebook this week. I know that I spend a lot of time on Facebook, and it may seem to some as though Facebook is my life, but I do have another life outside of it.
I’ve been extremely busy at work lately. The prayer requests, bacon posts and private messages have swamped me and I’m feeling overwhelmed. So I decided last night to de-activate my account for a few days.
This is something I didn’t plan on, since most of my dreams lately have highlighted networking on Facebook. I don’t expect to be offline very long.
I feel at times as if my message isn’t reaching some people. If I had to summarize my message, it would be, (speaking of the miraculous) “Anyone can do this.”
I try to encourage people to step into their identity in Christ and do the things Jesus did. The entire purpose of this blog and my Facebook account is to show people they can do the things I’m doing. So it frustrates me when people allow the enemy to beat them up, when they live in fear and hopelesness, and when they continue believing the lie that they need a ‘Man of God’ to pray for their miracle instead of doing it themselves.
We all have the same access to the throne of God. We all have the same Spirit living in us. Jesus is just as capable of healing through you as he is through me. So why do we continue believing the lie that we must have the ‘Anointed Man of God’ handle our crisis?
I guess that frustration is getting to me again, so I need to step away from Facebook for a while. The frustration I feel over this issue is probably why I wrote the book that we’ll soon be publishing, which is a ‘Do It Yourself’ book on healing, deliverance & raising the dead.
One last thing…
A lot of you are gathering for the Global Kingdom Awakening seminar in Kansas in August. There are going to be hundreds of people there that I’d love to meet. Pete Cabrera, who is the host, has offered to arrange transportation for me. But I have one problem….
I have this job. If I want to bring home a paycheck, I need to work. Lately, I’ve been working overtime to keep up with the bills. As much as I’d love to take a week off work to attend the seminar & maybe teach one of the sessions, if I take time off work, the bills don’t get paid. And the bills must be paid. So the prospects of attending are rather slim right now.
So that’s where I’m at. Thanks for listening.
I love you all,
The Medic is awesome!
Surfs up, mister. Get paddling.
PM, you make me heart smile big…so grateful to God that we’re connected to each other…you’re beautiful!
Thanks for being my friend. I don’t want to blow your cover, so I’ll leave you as ‘anonymous’.
Praying Medic, I has been praying a lot in tongues lately, because I was having a lot of what you are speaking about in this article, many of the times that I was praying I saw your profile picture in my head, there is a lot of people praying for you, I know because the Lord always use armies of prayers for us….
I don’t know why I got a burn, prayer burn, this morning I went to your profile and didn’t found it, I feel the need to pray over you and your house, Papa is shining His face over you and saying: well done faithful servant! We love you guy!!!!!
Thanks Nancy. You’re one of the friends I can always count on.
I think a lot of us are evaluating our FB interaction…interesting. I will love to hear your story.
BTW, where did that allergy testimony go? It was very helpful to me and wanted a family member to see it.
The allergy testimony will be back in a few days. Sorry for pulling it.
Thanks for dropping by.
Praying for peace & rest <3 (((Hugs)))
I’m glad you’re ready to start the healing journey of cracking the door open to the past for your friends and readers — as you did for me when we first met. They’ll have the opportunity to more fully understand you and perhaps some will see their own story in your experiences. As that door opens more and more, it will be “all good” in the end. That’s what I really expect.
We’ve talked about this already so I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. The past is where our “lies” begin — when we’re too young and inexperienced to recognize them as lies. One of my lies was “I am unloved and insignificant”, and yours was “I’m misunderstood and unaccepted”. Even though we both uncovered our lies soon after we met almost 6 years ago, that’s only the first step — acknowledging the lie you’re believing.
We both know (in our heads and on paper) we’re significant to God and accepted by Him. And if you talk to a group of what I might call ‘super-spiritual’ people, that’s supposed to be all we really need. There’s something wrong with our spiritual life if we need someone else. Maybe some people could be locked up in a dark cell with no one else around and thrive on the knowledge that God loves them. I guess that could happen. But I wonder if that’s God’s best for us? I think we’re meant to be interdependent because sometimes this is one very key way God shows His love — by giving us each other for encouragement. I know there’s a fear that some will not encourage you, but instead they’ll criticize your imperfections and failures. To me, that’s just a sign that something may be missing for them — perhaps freedom. Freedom. We’ve talked about that a lot over the past few years, haven’t we?
I thank God for you. You’ve been God’s hands and feet in my life and shown me His sweet heart towards me through your love. You’ve given me a glimpse of my potential and significance. You’ve encouraged me with His words. You’ve accepted me despite the imperfections I see in myself. I’ve done much of my own healing in your strong arms and walking beside you through the past several years. How grateful I am to be on this journey with you.
May your healing become more complete as God shows you His understanding and acceptance through others. My prayers are totally FOR you! Be fearless as you tell your redemptive story. And I hope you always know, I’ve got your back. <3 Love!
Writing through the tears, I can say that with your help, I can and I will do this.
For all of us.
Thanks, lover girl.
I can soooo relate to what you and your wife both state here. It does feel risky to expose yourself…your true self and maybe people will judge you..and maybe they will accept you. I struggle with this as well.
Writing is very therapeutic, yes. I love your heart and your respect for others. I very much look forward to reading your book or books.
As far as having to work to make the bills, yep, another area where I can totally relate. It would be so wonderful to be able to attend every conference and soak in all the good stuff. But Holy Spirit can give us what we need. I was feeling left out and disappointed once about not being able to attend a conference and that is what the Holy Spirit dropped into my mind. He can give us more that what men can give us. 🙂
You have a huge calling on your life and I have benefited much from your posts.
I too get very frustrated by the lack of identity of many of God’s people, I’ve seen & felt this since 2005 it’s been on my heart and mind. I believe this will change soon.
You are genuine and I so appreciate that. Thank you for your friendship. God bless you PM.
Thasnks for your love & friendship Linda!
PM I look forward to hearing from you again on FB and praying for you as you become transparent to those who love and do indeed pray for you. Your journey will be an exposure and healing for many of us who read what you choose write.
Thanks for supporting me Jim.
I’m looking forward to reading your posts when I get back.
As i read the comments of what you posted and especially the “encouraging love letter ” from your wife…I am in tears…being also at one in the medical field so understand..what you share about how you walk His walk is so how He has shown me….thinking one has it together I was taken aback with your honesty about the need for healing…acceptance..no my brother I do not know your journey and path the Lord has placed you on …but so understand your need..an I too get healing as I write ….I have been told I had no testimony when I was quite young and wanted to share my testimony in churches to being told not to share as not many would understand what I have been thru…so I pray …God make a way….looking forward to your writings….I will pray God will use for His Kingdom and Glory…because there are many of us wounded warriors out here that need some healing salve placed on the wounds by our fellow soldiers,,My relationship with God is keeping me alive…and I praise Him for that,,,,but despite having limited relationship with fellow believers..my heart cries out for and am so very grateful for my fb brothers and sisters…Blessings and prayers as you go forward…and may His balm be applied to your wounds to give you healing …and that you may KNOW beyond all doubt that HE IS and cares for you…..despite all…Thank you for being real…on the path He is taking you….
Thank you, Justasiam, for reading my husband’s writing and encouraging him. It’s nice to see how people are touched by what God is doing here. I pray that our Lord will continue to encourage you through your relationship with your fellow fb believers and of course, with Him. We don’t have a church home since we moved over a year ago to Arizona, but it’s a blessing to stay connected to our brothers and sisters online.
Thank you for your kind prayers and blessings! And we pray that you are healed of the trauma and hurt of the past as well. You are strong in the Lord! Be encouraged. It’s not an easy process but God seems to want to bring things into the light. We just came back from a prophetic conference and the prophetic voices seemed to agree that God is speaking about healing the past wounds of his people for this season. 🙂 So I think many people will be joining my husband in this.
You, your Wife, & your Life ROCK…..Keep blogging and FBing…Your life is interesting…How your mind works is interesting….And the Lord is using your gifts and Talents to bless….
Stef – thanks for bringing your snorkiness into my life. Everyone should have friend like you.
Thanks for joining the party.
you said this: “I feel at times as if my message isn’t reaching some people. If I had to summarize my message, it would be, (speaking of the miraculous) “Anyone can do this.””
It’s reaching me…but I’ve been praying for one of my children for years without success. How am I supposed to believe God wants me to pray for the carpal tunnel of the lady at the grocery store if I can’t even see my own child healed? Seriously? I want to know. I am waiting for God to show me what I’m missing. I’m willing to walk this out, but I have to believe it first.
Anonymous – thanks for your comment. If success with family members is what qualifies us to heal the sick – we’re all unqualified. I’ll be honest with you – I’ve prayed with my wife a thousand times with no success. Can’t even get rid of her headaches. So if I used that as my gauge of readiness, I might as well give up. This is a common problem with just about everyone. Most of the folks I know who have 80-90% success have not been able to get their own family healed.
You’re qualifed because Jesus says you are. Not because you feel like you are. This isn’t the NFL where you can lose your qualification to coach because you had a string of defeats. You’ll always have the power & authority to heal, no matter how many defeats you have.
The key is to step out in faith and risk looking stupid if nothing happens. Because one day, it will. And when it does, you’ll begin to feel just how qualified you really are.